Past and Future Phone Call

Past: (Picking up phone) Hello?

Future: Hey, it’s me.

P: Oh hey, what’s up?

F: Just wanted to call and say thanks.

P: Oh?

F: Yeah, these leftovers are excellent.

P: Glad you like em. Took me forever to get that thai peanut sauce right.

F: I remember. Also, what a great place to stash ten bucks!

P: Ha ha, I thought you’d like that. What’d you buy?

F: It was perfect. I was riding home on my bike with Wig, we’re both pretty drunk—

P: Glad to hear he’ll be getting over his cold soon—

F: and we pass by Brooklyn Pizza. We’re both starving, but I’m sure I spent all my cash at the bar. I reach in my jacket pockets almost comically, expecting to pull the fabric inside out with nothing in it, and out comes Hamilton.

P: I can’t wait for that.

F: Yeah, I hope I didn’t spoil the surprise.

P: Nah, I’m sure I’ll forget all about it. Our conversations never stick with me very long. No offense.

F: None taken.

P: When are you, anyway?

F: Tuesday. It’s about one.

P: The 23^rd?

F: Yeah.

P: You get those new bearings I ordered for the Bianchi?

F: Not yet.

P: Rats.

F: I was also wondering if you could do me a favor.

P: You want me to bet on the Suns or something?

F: No nothing like that. I just can’t seem to find the brown and red long sleeve shirt.

P: Hmm. Well I’m wearing it right now.

F: I guess I called too far back. Any idea where you might put it later?

P: You try inside the backpack?

F: Yeah, and the hamper, and even the corner of the bed where it was wedged down that one time.

P: Oh yeah, that was a lousy place to stick it.

F: Whatever, he was drunk. I’m just glad he got home with it at all.

P: I guess they always seem like good places to put things at the time.

F: Hey I gotta go. Any thoughts? I’m pretty sure the last time I saw it was sometime in your today.

P: Let’s see… I got to tutor a couple kids later, then I was going to go for a run… could it be in the laundry?

F: No, I haven’t done any lately. The hamper is full.

P: Shoot, I have no idea buddy.

F: No problem. Maybe I’ll try you later.

P: Lame. It’s looking cloudy outside. Do you remember if it’s going to rain this afternoon?

F: That’s it!

P: What?

F: I remember where you’re going to put the shirt. It’s drying on the chair in the back yard.

P: So I guess it is going to rain.

F: For like the last five minutes of your run.

P: That’s not so bad I guess. I’ll take a shower when I get home anyway.

F: It’s like you can predict the future.

P: Too bad you can’t post-dict the past.

F: That’s why I call you. Thanks again.

P: If I didn’t do these things for you, who would I do them for? I take the long view. Delayed gratification.

F: Just wish I had some way to repay you.

P: Just pay it forward.

F: Yuck yuck yuck. Later man.

P: Yuck yuck yuck.